1 00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000 www.tvsubtitles.net 2 00:00:04,070 --> 00:00:06,664 As humans, we need training in social skills... 3 00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,068 ...conversational distance. 4 00:00:08,241 --> 00:00:10,709 Don't you hate these people that talk into your mouth... 5 00:00:10,877 --> 00:00:13,072 ...like you're a clown at a drive-through? 6 00:00:13,246 --> 00:00:14,543 And handshakes is the worst. 7 00:00:14,714 --> 00:00:17,239 There's absolutely no guidelines for handshakes. 8 00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:19,544 You know how many people--? Too strong, too weak. 9 00:00:19,719 --> 00:00:20,947 Sometimes they give you... 10 00:00:21,121 --> 00:00:23,248 ...the three-quarter handshake, just the fingers. 11 00:00:23,423 --> 00:00:24,981 Early release, late release. 12 00:00:25,158 --> 00:00:27,718 Sometimes people will dispute your release. 13 00:00:27,894 --> 00:00:30,385 You've let go. They're hanging on. 14 00:00:30,563 --> 00:00:34,294 l have actually said to people, ''Hey, the handshake is over.'' 15 00:00:35,702 --> 00:00:38,136 Too many pumps, coming in too high... 16 00:00:38,304 --> 00:00:41,705 ...too sweaty, from too far away. 17 00:00:41,875 --> 00:00:44,810 Sometimes a guy will give you a strong grip, late release... 18 00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,310 ...and pull you in for the too-close conversation. 19 00:00:47,981 --> 00:00:51,246 To him l say, ''That's three strikes. You're out.'' 20 00:00:57,223 --> 00:00:59,088 You know, the timing couldn't be worse. 21 00:00:59,292 --> 00:01:01,817 ls there a good time to have your parents stay with you? 22 00:01:01,995 --> 00:01:04,896 l haven't been together with Rachel for three weeks. 23 00:01:05,165 --> 00:01:07,861 First l was on the road, then my parents show up. 24 00:01:08,034 --> 00:01:10,161 l'm getting a little backed up. 25 00:01:12,238 --> 00:01:14,763 -When are they leaving for Paris? -Not for three days. 26 00:01:14,941 --> 00:01:17,466 -What about her place? -She lives with her parents. 27 00:01:17,644 --> 00:01:18,941 Really? 28 00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:22,673 Maybe this will become, like, a cool thing, living with your parents. 29 00:01:22,849 --> 00:01:24,646 Then maybe baldness will catch on. 30 00:01:26,319 --> 00:01:28,446 Things will all be turning your way. 31 00:01:29,656 --> 00:01:32,284 Hey, believe me, baldness will catch on. 32 00:01:32,492 --> 00:01:35,655 When the aliens come, who do you think they're gonna relate to? 33 00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:38,195 Who do you think's gonna be getting tour of the ship? 34 00:01:38,364 --> 00:01:40,059 The baldies. 35 00:01:40,233 --> 00:01:42,667 My parents want your parents over for dinner. 36 00:01:42,836 --> 00:01:45,134 Good. l get the apartment for at least one night. 37 00:01:45,305 --> 00:01:48,297 l'm paying for this Paris trip. lt's their anniversary present. 38 00:01:49,442 --> 00:01:51,034 -Hey, guys. -Hey, Alec. 39 00:01:51,211 --> 00:01:52,701 -Hey, Alec. -This is Joey. 40 00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,211 -Hey, Joey, how are you doing? -Hey, listen... 41 00:01:55,381 --> 00:01:58,214 ...l was wondering if you'd be interested in doing some work... 42 00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:01,683 ...for the Big Brother program. l'm kind of running the local chapter. 43 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:04,580 What do you say, George? 44 00:02:04,824 --> 00:02:06,849 -Well.... -Wouldn't you... 45 00:02:07,026 --> 00:02:10,257 ...like to be a Big Brother to someone like me? 46 00:02:10,430 --> 00:02:12,398 Please? 47 00:02:12,599 --> 00:02:14,226 Well... 48 00:02:14,467 --> 00:02:16,935 ...sure, Joey, sure. 49 00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:19,570 l would be thrilled. 50 00:02:19,739 --> 00:02:22,037 That's great. Thanks. l'll get in touch with you. 51 00:02:22,208 --> 00:02:24,005 Wouldn't you like to be a Big Brother--? 52 00:02:24,177 --> 00:02:25,644 All right, Joey. That's enough. 53 00:02:25,812 --> 00:02:27,211 Let's go. See you. 54 00:02:28,314 --> 00:02:30,282 -What happened? -What could l do? 55 00:02:30,450 --> 00:02:32,475 Did you see the mug on that kid? 56 00:02:33,086 --> 00:02:36,954 Wouldn't you like to pass the ketchup to someone like me? 57 00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,157 Please? 58 00:02:39,659 --> 00:02:40,990 Have you noticed they moved... 59 00:02:41,161 --> 00:02:42,958 ...where they do the interview on Jeopardy? 60 00:02:43,129 --> 00:02:45,188 Yeah. lt was in the middle of Single Jeopardy. 61 00:02:45,365 --> 00:02:48,357 -Now it's after Single Jeopardy. -Yeah. lt's much better, isn't it? 62 00:02:48,535 --> 00:02:49,832 Oh, no comparison. 63 00:02:50,003 --> 00:02:52,904 l gotta get my parents one of those French-English dictionaries. 64 00:02:54,007 --> 00:02:56,373 -Hey, hey, hey. -What? 65 00:02:57,043 --> 00:02:58,738 Your parents are going to Paris, right? 66 00:02:58,912 --> 00:03:01,244 -Yeah. -So l tell Alec... 67 00:03:01,414 --> 00:03:04,440 ...that l have to go to Paris for an undetermined amount of time. 68 00:03:04,651 --> 00:03:06,585 Then all l have to do is buy postcards... 69 00:03:06,753 --> 00:03:09,278 ...and have your parents mail them from Paris. 70 00:03:09,455 --> 00:03:11,923 -What about little Joey? -Who? 71 00:03:12,458 --> 00:03:14,926 -He's probably better off. -Yeah. 72 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,224 l'm trying to get out of this Big Brother program. 73 00:03:18,398 --> 00:03:21,128 When you get to Paris, drop them in any mailbox. 74 00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:25,260 -But there are no stamps on these. -You gotta buy French stamps. 75 00:03:25,471 --> 00:03:27,837 l'll reimburse you, of course. 76 00:03:28,041 --> 00:03:29,372 Why are you doing this? 77 00:03:29,542 --> 00:03:31,339 He wants this guy to think he's in Paris. 78 00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:32,739 -Why? -Because George... 79 00:03:32,912 --> 00:03:34,743 ...is a deeply disturbed individual. 80 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:40,352 Oh, hey, Helen. Could l use some more of your hand lotion? 81 00:03:40,520 --> 00:03:44,479 l told you it was good. lt's from the Saks Fifth Avenue in Miami. 82 00:03:45,258 --> 00:03:47,419 l'll remember that if l'm ever in Florida. 83 00:03:47,594 --> 00:03:50,119 Yeah, or if ever on Fifth Avenue here in New York City. 84 00:03:50,296 --> 00:03:51,991 -You can get some there. -Yeah? 85 00:03:52,165 --> 00:03:55,259 Say, those are nice pants. l got a pair just like them at home. 86 00:03:55,435 --> 00:03:57,699 That doesn't surprise me. l bought these at Rudy's. 87 00:03:57,870 --> 00:04:01,601 lt's a used clothing store. See, when people like you die... 88 00:04:01,774 --> 00:04:04,208 ...the widows, they bring in their wardrobes. 89 00:04:04,410 --> 00:04:07,470 -They make a bundle. -Really? 90 00:04:07,714 --> 00:04:10,683 My father's got a ton of old clothes just sitting up in the attic. 91 00:04:10,850 --> 00:04:13,318 -You think they're worth something? -lf they're vintage. 92 00:04:13,486 --> 00:04:14,919 And you're a widow. 93 00:04:15,121 --> 00:04:17,919 What happens if the husband dies after the wife? 94 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:21,527 -Who brings the clothing in then? -l suppose the children do. 95 00:04:22,495 --> 00:04:24,963 Yes, l suppose they do. 96 00:04:26,266 --> 00:04:28,791 All right. l got a 1 0:00. l'll see everybody later. 97 00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:40,375 Hey, l just remembered... 98 00:04:40,546 --> 00:04:43,515 ...my parents wanna have you over for dinner before you leave. 99 00:04:43,683 --> 00:04:45,674 -What about tonight? -Tonight? 100 00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:47,649 Yeah. They're making paella. 101 00:04:48,321 --> 00:04:50,881 l don't think we can make it tonight. We have plans. 102 00:04:51,057 --> 00:04:53,617 -What plans? -We have plans. 103 00:04:54,193 --> 00:04:56,787 -Where did you get plans? -We have plans. 104 00:04:57,196 --> 00:05:00,825 -Well, what about tomorrow night? -Maybe. 105 00:05:02,835 --> 00:05:04,769 Okay... 106 00:05:04,971 --> 00:05:06,666 -...l guess l'll tell them that. -Okay. 107 00:05:07,240 --> 00:05:09,174 -Hey, give them our best, though. -Yeah. 108 00:05:09,342 --> 00:05:11,310 -l'll call you later. -Yeah. 109 00:05:16,149 --> 00:05:18,344 -So, what plans do you have? -None. 110 00:05:18,518 --> 00:05:20,884 So how come you're not going over there for dinner? 111 00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:24,148 Jerry, we don't care much for the Costanzas. 112 00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,588 We can't stand them. 113 00:05:27,393 --> 00:05:29,793 -Really? Since when? -Since always. 114 00:05:29,962 --> 00:05:32,226 -We've never liked them. -Why? 115 00:05:32,398 --> 00:05:34,457 Well, they're so loud. They're always fighting. 116 00:05:34,634 --> 00:05:36,295 lt's uncomfortable. You never noticed? 117 00:05:36,469 --> 00:05:38,334 l noticed. But they're from your age group. 118 00:05:38,504 --> 00:05:40,028 l didn't think you could detect... 119 00:05:40,206 --> 00:05:42,106 ...abnormal behavior among your own kind. 120 00:05:42,275 --> 00:05:43,606 Well, we do. 121 00:05:46,212 --> 00:05:49,443 -Yeah? -It's us. 122 00:05:49,615 --> 00:05:51,412 Oh, come on up. 123 00:05:52,552 --> 00:05:55,521 -lt's Elaine. You have any problem? -We adore Elaine. 124 00:05:55,688 --> 00:05:58,054 -She's with her new boyfriend. -What's he like? 125 00:05:58,224 --> 00:06:00,784 -He's nice. A bit of a close talker. -A what? 126 00:06:00,960 --> 00:06:03,224 You'll see. 127 00:06:03,396 --> 00:06:06,456 l really had no idea that you felt this way about the Costanzas. 128 00:06:06,632 --> 00:06:09,795 They're exhausting. lt's like being in an asylum. 129 00:06:10,636 --> 00:06:12,433 -Hi. -Hi. 130 00:06:12,605 --> 00:06:14,129 -There she is. -Hello, Elaine. 131 00:06:14,307 --> 00:06:16,639 Hi, Mrs. Seinfeld. 132 00:06:16,809 --> 00:06:18,640 Oh, this is Aaron. 133 00:06:18,811 --> 00:06:20,472 -Hello, Aaron. -Hello. 134 00:06:20,646 --> 00:06:22,443 How long are you folks in town? 135 00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:28,144 Three more days. Three more days, and then we're off to Paris. 136 00:06:28,321 --> 00:06:30,619 We're going with a select charter group. 137 00:06:30,790 --> 00:06:33,315 l love France. l was just there last year. 138 00:06:33,493 --> 00:06:34,858 ln fact... 139 00:06:35,128 --> 00:06:38,393 ...you know, l still have an envelope full of French francs. 140 00:06:38,598 --> 00:06:40,190 l'll give them to you. 141 00:06:40,566 --> 00:06:41,999 We can't take money. 142 00:06:42,168 --> 00:06:45,069 No. lt's a gift. From us. 143 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:48,730 Oh, that is so nice, Aaron. 144 00:06:48,908 --> 00:06:50,341 lsn't he nice? 145 00:06:50,510 --> 00:06:52,569 Has Jerry been showing you a good time? 146 00:06:52,745 --> 00:06:54,474 No, l haven't. 147 00:06:54,647 --> 00:06:56,672 You know, l have a friend... 148 00:06:56,849 --> 00:07:00,182 ...who works at the Metropolitan Museum of Art. 149 00:07:00,386 --> 00:07:02,217 How'd you like a behind-the-scenes tour? 150 00:07:02,388 --> 00:07:05,687 -Really? You could do that? -Easily. 151 00:07:05,858 --> 00:07:07,792 -lt wouldn't be any trouble? -Of course not. 152 00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:10,360 -When could we go? -How about right now? 153 00:07:10,530 --> 00:07:12,293 -l'm ready. -Are you sure? 154 00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:14,695 -Yes! -Okay, let me get my coat. 155 00:07:14,867 --> 00:07:17,028 Elaine, what do you say? 156 00:07:17,203 --> 00:07:19,433 Well, l don't think so, Aaron. 157 00:07:20,473 --> 00:07:22,065 l have plans. 158 00:07:23,576 --> 00:07:25,271 How about you, Jerry? 159 00:07:25,445 --> 00:07:27,106 l'm swamped. 160 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:30,772 You sure? You can examine the artwork up close. 161 00:07:31,050 --> 00:07:32,711 Maybe l'll try and catch up with you. 162 00:07:33,519 --> 00:07:35,384 Yeah, that will happen. 163 00:07:35,688 --> 00:07:37,019 All right. We're off. 164 00:07:37,190 --> 00:07:38,452 -Okay. Bye. -Let's go. 165 00:07:38,624 --> 00:07:40,353 Okay. Bye-bye. Have a good time. 166 00:07:40,526 --> 00:07:41,754 -Bye. -See everybody later. 167 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,862 -Okay. -Bye. 168 00:07:44,030 --> 00:07:46,692 Why would he ask your parents to go to a museum? 169 00:07:46,866 --> 00:07:48,458 -l don't know. -What is that? 170 00:07:48,634 --> 00:07:50,534 Maybe he was just trying to be nice. 171 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:53,365 Have you ever heard of anyone doing anything like this? 172 00:07:53,539 --> 00:07:56,599 Wait a second. He just did me a big favor. 173 00:07:56,776 --> 00:07:59,006 -What? -He got them out of the house. 174 00:07:59,178 --> 00:08:01,169 -What? -l can call Rachel. 175 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:03,510 Oh, no. l got the machine. 176 00:08:03,783 --> 00:08:06,616 Rachel are you there? l got the place to myself for a few hours. 177 00:08:06,786 --> 00:08:08,913 Rachel, where are you? 178 00:08:09,121 --> 00:08:11,055 Rachel! 179 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:15,893 Sorry, pal. Wish l could help you out. 180 00:08:18,764 --> 00:08:21,198 -They're not coming? -No. They had plans. 181 00:08:21,367 --> 00:08:22,595 How could they have plans? 182 00:08:22,768 --> 00:08:24,326 What difference does it make? 183 00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:25,732 They wouldn't lie to us. 184 00:08:25,905 --> 00:08:28,339 -They're our dear friends. -What am l supposed to do... 185 00:08:28,508 --> 00:08:30,840 -...with all this paella? -They said tomorrow, maybe. 186 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:33,035 -Maybe? -Maybe they don't like us. 187 00:08:33,212 --> 00:08:35,146 Why wouldn't they like us? 188 00:08:37,617 --> 00:08:40,552 Again with the pepper? What do you gotta use all that pepper for? 189 00:08:40,720 --> 00:08:43,917 -Keep quiet. -You trying to set my mouth on fire? 190 00:08:44,957 --> 00:08:47,084 l don't know what the reason could be. 191 00:08:52,031 --> 00:08:53,760 -Hello. -Oh, hi. 192 00:08:53,933 --> 00:08:55,264 What a day. 193 00:08:55,468 --> 00:08:58,403 Jerry, you would not believe the time we had. 194 00:08:58,571 --> 00:09:00,198 Aaron is quite the tour guide. 195 00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,739 Have you ever seen those lmpressionist paintings? 196 00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:05,969 -Oh, sure, like Monet. -Don't you think he had to be... 197 00:09:06,145 --> 00:09:08,943 ...nearsighted? Nobody would paint like that if they could see. 198 00:09:09,115 --> 00:09:10,605 lt's all out of focus. 199 00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:12,842 He's from the lmpressionist school, you know... 200 00:09:13,019 --> 00:09:15,988 ...like Monet, Manet, Tippy-tippy-day-day. 201 00:09:16,155 --> 00:09:18,885 l say that guy was painting without his glasses. 202 00:09:21,127 --> 00:09:23,857 Hello. Rachel. 203 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:25,961 Yeah. 204 00:09:27,266 --> 00:09:29,291 No. They're back. 205 00:09:30,436 --> 00:09:34,133 Jerry if you have something to do, we can just sit right here and read. 206 00:09:34,307 --> 00:09:36,434 Yes. Well... 207 00:09:36,609 --> 00:09:38,941 ...l'm sorry too. Listen, l'll call you later. 208 00:09:39,345 --> 00:09:40,903 Okay. Bye. 209 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,604 Well, l should be going. 210 00:09:42,782 --> 00:09:44,579 Oh, thanks again. 211 00:09:44,750 --> 00:09:46,047 -Goodbye. -Goodbye. 212 00:09:46,218 --> 00:09:49,016 -Hey. -Oh, you must be Kramer. 213 00:09:49,188 --> 00:09:51,122 l've heard about you. 214 00:09:55,828 --> 00:09:57,853 Hey, you must be Aaron. l've heard about you. 215 00:10:00,132 --> 00:10:01,690 -Well, see you later. -Yeah. 216 00:10:02,501 --> 00:10:04,196 -Bye. -Okay. 217 00:10:05,905 --> 00:10:07,702 So, what are you guys doing for dinner? 218 00:10:07,873 --> 00:10:10,341 -We have no plans. -Look at that, Helen. 219 00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:13,103 Do you see what he's wearing? That's the Executive. 220 00:10:13,279 --> 00:10:15,611 -What is the Executive? -The beltless trench coat. 221 00:10:15,781 --> 00:10:17,715 -My father invented it. -l sure did. 222 00:10:17,883 --> 00:10:20,977 Raincoats were my business. The Executive was a classic. 223 00:10:21,153 --> 00:10:23,144 These haven't been made in 20 years. 224 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,290 Why would they? Nobody bought them then. 225 00:10:26,092 --> 00:10:29,186 -He's wearing one. -These are a hot item at Rudy's. 226 00:10:29,362 --> 00:10:30,852 You don't say. 227 00:10:31,063 --> 00:10:34,430 You know, l have boxes of those sitting in my garage in Florida. 228 00:10:34,634 --> 00:10:35,862 Get them up here. 229 00:10:36,068 --> 00:10:38,730 You give me 25 percent, l'll take care of everything. 230 00:10:38,904 --> 00:10:41,134 -You got a deal. -Yeah. 231 00:10:42,842 --> 00:10:45,037 This is like the meeting of Smith and Wesson. 232 00:10:45,978 --> 00:10:48,674 l'll call Jack Klompus. He's got a key to the garage. 233 00:10:48,848 --> 00:10:52,579 -He can send them overnight delivery. -You're gonna start shipping boxes? 234 00:10:52,752 --> 00:10:56,085 -We're leaving for Paris in three days. -He'll send them express. 235 00:10:56,255 --> 00:10:58,985 -You're crazy. -l'll tell you how crazy l am. 236 00:10:59,158 --> 00:11:01,023 l'm paying for this trip with these coats. 237 00:11:01,193 --> 00:11:03,753 -l'm paying for the trip. -So much the better. 238 00:11:07,099 --> 00:11:09,465 Anyway, it's kind of a fluke thing... 239 00:11:09,635 --> 00:11:12,627 ...but l'll be leaving for Paris in two days. 240 00:11:13,806 --> 00:11:16,934 l will send you a postcard when l get there. 241 00:11:17,610 --> 00:11:18,941 -Paris, huh? -Yeah. 242 00:11:19,111 --> 00:11:23,138 You know, l feel terrible about Joey, but it's a great business opportunity. 243 00:11:23,315 --> 00:11:25,545 l don't even know how long l'm gonna be away. 244 00:11:25,951 --> 00:11:27,885 Where will you stay? 245 00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:30,213 An apartment complex. The.... 246 00:11:30,656 --> 00:11:32,556 The Eiffel Towers. 247 00:11:33,826 --> 00:11:37,660 Like l said, you'll be getting a postcard in a few days... 248 00:11:37,830 --> 00:11:39,525 ...and again, l'm sorry. 249 00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:44,269 George, you have no idea how fantastic this is. 250 00:11:44,737 --> 00:11:46,227 -Fantastic? -Yeah. 251 00:11:46,639 --> 00:11:49,164 We've been trying to reunite Joey with his father... 252 00:11:49,375 --> 00:11:50,603 ...who lives in Paris. 253 00:11:51,877 --> 00:11:55,005 But he's afraid to fly alone. You know, he's kind of withdrawn... 254 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:57,944 ...but he seems to take to you. 255 00:11:58,317 --> 00:12:02,617 -So it's a perfect solution. -Gee, what a coincidence. 256 00:12:04,156 --> 00:12:06,147 And you'll send me a postcard. 257 00:12:09,028 --> 00:12:11,792 Helen really seemed to respond to Renoir. 258 00:12:12,298 --> 00:12:15,665 l think she really connected with the way he painted children. 259 00:12:16,736 --> 00:12:18,397 And that Morty. 260 00:12:18,838 --> 00:12:21,705 l'll tell you, that old guy's full of life. 261 00:12:23,175 --> 00:12:26,542 He was convinced Monet was nearsighted. 262 00:12:27,246 --> 00:12:29,373 -l kept telling him-- -Aaron? 263 00:12:30,449 --> 00:12:31,814 Yes? 264 00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,611 Let me ask you a question. 265 00:12:35,054 --> 00:12:37,215 How come you asked Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld... 266 00:12:37,389 --> 00:12:38,822 ...to go to the museum with you? 267 00:12:39,158 --> 00:12:43,527 Well, they were in from out of town. l thought they'd enjoy it. 268 00:12:47,099 --> 00:12:48,623 You didn't feel uncomfortable... 269 00:12:48,801 --> 00:12:51,167 ...spending the whole day at the museum... 270 00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:54,170 ...with two complete strangers who are more than twice your age? 271 00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:55,830 No. 272 00:12:56,575 --> 00:12:58,338 lt was fun. 273 00:12:59,011 --> 00:13:02,538 You had fun with Mr. and Mrs. Seinfeld? 274 00:13:02,715 --> 00:13:04,046 Yeah. 275 00:13:05,551 --> 00:13:07,075 They bought me a Coke. 276 00:13:11,157 --> 00:13:13,557 How'd you get the idea for the beltless trench coat? 277 00:13:13,726 --> 00:13:17,253 l came home one night, and l tripped over one of Jerry's toys. 278 00:13:18,364 --> 00:13:21,299 So l took out my belt, just to threaten him... 279 00:13:21,500 --> 00:13:24,492 ...and l got a glimpse of myself in the mirror. 280 00:13:26,338 --> 00:13:29,398 -How serendipitous. -So that night, l cut off the loops... 281 00:13:29,909 --> 00:13:32,207 ...and the Executive was born. 282 00:13:32,378 --> 00:13:35,279 He also had an idea for a brimless rain hat... 283 00:13:35,447 --> 00:13:37,381 ...but that never materialized. 284 00:13:37,550 --> 00:13:39,074 All right, come on. Let's play. 285 00:13:39,251 --> 00:13:42,015 -Did you call Jack Klompus? -l haven't been able to reach him. 286 00:13:42,188 --> 00:13:43,416 l'll call him right now. 287 00:13:43,589 --> 00:13:45,113 -Oh, come on. -Just a second. 288 00:13:45,324 --> 00:13:47,485 Jerry, have you seen Schindler's List? 289 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,594 -No, l haven't seen it yet. -You have to go. 290 00:13:49,762 --> 00:13:51,059 -l'm going. -You have to. 291 00:13:51,230 --> 00:13:52,527 Okay. 292 00:13:53,599 --> 00:13:55,328 -Hello, Jack? -Yeah? 293 00:13:55,501 --> 00:13:57,435 -Jack, it's Morty. -Who died? 294 00:13:59,071 --> 00:14:02,507 Nobody died. Jack, l want you to do me a big favor. 295 00:14:03,108 --> 00:14:06,168 -ln my garage are a couple of boxes. -What boxes? 296 00:14:06,412 --> 00:14:10,041 -l'm gonna explain what boxes. -All right. How the hell do l know? 297 00:14:10,249 --> 00:14:12,183 Anyway, there are these three big boxes... 298 00:14:12,351 --> 00:14:15,252 ...you can't miss them, l want you to ship them here to New York. 299 00:14:15,421 --> 00:14:17,048 l thought you were going to Paris. 300 00:14:17,223 --> 00:14:18,713 l'm still going to Paris. 301 00:14:18,891 --> 00:14:20,688 l got a big deal cooking here. 302 00:14:20,993 --> 00:14:23,393 -What's in the boxes? -Raincoats. 303 00:14:23,562 --> 00:14:24,824 Raincoats? 304 00:14:24,997 --> 00:14:28,023 You think you're gonna sell those old crappy raincoats? 305 00:14:28,200 --> 00:14:29,428 That's garbage. 306 00:14:29,602 --> 00:14:32,765 l guarantee you, Doris won't let him mail those boxes. 307 00:14:32,938 --> 00:14:35,304 -When do you want these? -Send them tomorrow. 308 00:14:37,142 --> 00:14:39,508 So you think they're coming tonight? 309 00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:41,612 l don't know. They said maybe. 310 00:14:41,814 --> 00:14:43,941 Of course they're coming. They're leaving soon. 311 00:14:44,116 --> 00:14:47,051 -lf they don't come, they won't see us. -Well, they better come. 312 00:14:47,253 --> 00:14:48,811 l got all this paella. 313 00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:53,715 l admire Morty and Helen going to France. 314 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,655 We should take a trip. 315 00:14:56,161 --> 00:14:57,492 Maybe a cruise. 316 00:14:58,330 --> 00:14:59,627 Yes, a cruise. 317 00:14:59,832 --> 00:15:01,629 A long cruise. 318 00:15:01,834 --> 00:15:03,062 Just the two of you. 319 00:15:03,235 --> 00:15:06,898 Georgie, what were you doing poking around the attic last night? 320 00:15:10,242 --> 00:15:12,938 -l wasn't in the attic. -l heard noise. 321 00:15:14,213 --> 00:15:17,478 -Maybe it was a mouse. -Okay, that's it! We're moving! 322 00:15:17,683 --> 00:15:21,642 -What? -l will not tolerate infestation. 323 00:15:22,254 --> 00:15:23,846 You haven't even seen one. 324 00:15:24,023 --> 00:15:27,049 Don't you understand? The very thought, the very idea. 325 00:15:27,226 --> 00:15:28,955 l'll never be comfortable again. 326 00:15:29,128 --> 00:15:30,857 All right, Frank. That's enough. 327 00:15:37,670 --> 00:15:40,696 l guess l've been hanging onto them for so long... 328 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:45,337 ...because l couldn't accept the fact that Dad was really gone forever. 329 00:15:47,980 --> 00:15:50,073 They will get a good home, won't they? 330 00:15:50,249 --> 00:15:52,717 l gotta be honest, there's nothing here too spectacular. 331 00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,648 Oh, l beg to differ. 332 00:15:55,621 --> 00:15:58,715 My father took great pride in his appearance. 333 00:15:58,958 --> 00:16:01,119 He was a very handsome man, a Casanova, really. 334 00:16:01,293 --> 00:16:03,659 l'll give you $200 for the three boxes. 335 00:16:04,930 --> 00:16:08,229 Could you make it 225? That was his high game in bowling. 336 00:16:09,735 --> 00:16:11,532 Yeah, l'm in a good mood. Here. 337 00:16:11,870 --> 00:16:13,337 Thank you. 338 00:16:13,505 --> 00:16:15,564 Hey, George. What are you doing here? 339 00:16:16,976 --> 00:16:21,413 l'm just selling some of Dad's things. That's what he would have wanted. 340 00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:23,480 Oh, l got you. 341 00:16:24,750 --> 00:16:27,241 -That'll do. -Hey, guess what. 342 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:30,717 Morty Seinfeld and l are going into business together, selling raincoats. 343 00:16:30,923 --> 00:16:32,652 -That's swell. -We worked it out... 344 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:34,554 -...all over dinner last night. -Dinner? 345 00:16:34,927 --> 00:16:38,522 -You had dinner with the Seinfelds? -Yeah, last night. 346 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:40,594 Was this something you had planned? 347 00:16:40,766 --> 00:16:42,563 No, it was spur of the moment. 348 00:16:42,868 --> 00:16:46,895 Well, you know Morty. He likes to fly by the seat of his vintage pants. 349 00:16:47,773 --> 00:16:50,071 They had plans, huh? They had plans! 350 00:16:51,243 --> 00:16:54,269 Boy, l've never seen these before. They just came in. 351 00:16:54,446 --> 00:16:56,971 Part of my springtime cruise collection. 352 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,483 -Two for $25. -Oh, l'll take these. Yeah. 353 00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:03,451 Hey, remember this raincoat that you sold me? 354 00:17:03,622 --> 00:17:05,021 Sure. That's the Executive. 355 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,091 -Do you have any others? -l wish. They don't make it anymore. 356 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:11,420 Suppose l told you l have 50 in mint condition. You interested? 357 00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,792 -Very interested. -They're coming in from Florida. 358 00:17:13,966 --> 00:17:15,558 -Bring them in. -So you'll buy them? 359 00:17:15,734 --> 00:17:17,793 l don't see what would possibly stop me? 360 00:17:32,151 --> 00:17:34,278 They had plans, huh? They were busy. 361 00:17:34,453 --> 00:17:37,115 They were busy with their big plans, huh? 362 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:39,655 -What are you talking about? -Mom and Pop Seinfeld. 363 00:17:39,825 --> 00:17:42,316 -Look, l don't know. -l know what they did last night. 364 00:17:42,494 --> 00:17:45,258 -They had dinner with Kramer. -lt was a last-minute thing. 365 00:17:45,431 --> 00:17:47,126 They won't have dinner with my parents? 366 00:17:47,299 --> 00:17:49,096 -Right. -Something wrong with my parents? 367 00:17:49,268 --> 00:17:51,600 -Absolutely. -My parents are wonderful people. 368 00:17:51,770 --> 00:17:54,102 -These the same people you live with? -Yes. 369 00:17:56,575 --> 00:18:00,011 -Are they coming tonight or not? -l don't know what their plans are. 370 00:18:00,179 --> 00:18:02,647 Okay. Fine. 371 00:18:02,848 --> 00:18:04,338 lt's gonna be very interesting... 372 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:07,617 ...very interesting if they don't show up tonight. 373 00:18:07,820 --> 00:18:10,448 You know, my mother made all this paella. 374 00:18:10,622 --> 00:18:12,522 What is that, anyway? 375 00:18:13,225 --> 00:18:14,624 lt's a Spanish dish. 376 00:18:14,860 --> 00:18:17,556 lt's a mélange of fish and meat with rice. 377 00:18:17,796 --> 00:18:19,787 -Very tasty. -l'll tell them. 378 00:18:19,965 --> 00:18:22,263 -Could you do one other thing for me? -Name it. 379 00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:24,626 Would your parents have any objections... 380 00:18:24,803 --> 00:18:27,033 ...to taking a little kid to Paris with them? 381 00:18:31,844 --> 00:18:35,541 lt turns out that the kid's father lives in Paris. 382 00:18:35,714 --> 00:18:37,306 ls that a coincidence? 383 00:18:37,483 --> 00:18:40,043 You know, Alec wants me to take him over there... 384 00:18:40,219 --> 00:18:42,380 ...so l figure as long as they're going-- 385 00:18:42,554 --> 00:18:45,648 You thought as long as they're mailing postcards... 386 00:18:45,824 --> 00:18:49,089 ...it wouldn't be too much to ask my parents to drag a child... 387 00:18:49,261 --> 00:18:52,355 ...who they've never seen through the streets of Paris? 388 00:18:53,632 --> 00:18:56,601 lf you think it's too much, they don't have to mail the postcards. 389 00:18:59,538 --> 00:19:02,371 So where's he taking you? 390 00:19:02,541 --> 00:19:05,601 Well, first we're going to a matinee. l'm taking the afternoon off. 391 00:19:05,777 --> 00:19:07,438 We're gonna go see My Fair Lady. 392 00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,908 And then we're gonna go to dinner. 393 00:19:10,115 --> 00:19:13,881 -He knows all these fantastic places. -You are one lucky girl. 394 00:19:15,521 --> 00:19:17,318 Wish l could find a nice guy. 395 00:19:18,190 --> 00:19:20,522 -Hi, Aaron. -Hey, Joanne. 396 00:19:21,827 --> 00:19:23,488 -Hey. -Hi. 397 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,565 -Hello, hello. -Hello, Elaine. 398 00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:36,367 l was able to finagle two more tickets to My Fair Lady... 399 00:19:36,542 --> 00:19:39,534 ...and l thought, why not ask Morty and Helen? 400 00:19:40,612 --> 00:19:43,046 -Great. -This is some office. 401 00:19:43,248 --> 00:19:44,875 What's the square footage? 402 00:19:45,284 --> 00:19:49,118 -You don't mind, do you, Elaine? -Mind? Oh, of course not. 403 00:19:49,288 --> 00:19:51,586 We can make a whole day of it. 404 00:19:51,757 --> 00:19:53,247 This is some building. 405 00:19:53,425 --> 00:19:55,620 Harry Fleming used to have an office here. 406 00:19:55,794 --> 00:19:58,285 There was a deli on the first floor. 407 00:19:58,463 --> 00:20:00,931 You don't get corned beef like that anymore. 408 00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:03,095 What happened to that deli? 409 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:05,928 l really don't know, Mr. Seinfeld. 410 00:20:50,749 --> 00:20:52,614 We better not. 411 00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:56,847 They're gonna be here any second. 412 00:20:57,055 --> 00:20:58,386 When are they leaving? 413 00:20:58,590 --> 00:21:00,319 ln two days. 414 00:21:00,525 --> 00:21:03,494 -lt's been so long. -l know. 415 00:21:03,662 --> 00:21:05,425 Okay. 416 00:21:06,164 --> 00:21:09,133 -lt's only two more days. -Right. 417 00:21:09,334 --> 00:21:11,199 Thursday, 3:00. 418 00:21:17,676 --> 00:21:20,110 -Oh, hi. -We didn't know you had company. 419 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,144 Yeah. This is Rachel. 420 00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:23,872 -Hi. -Hello, Rachel. 421 00:21:24,049 --> 00:21:26,313 -We'll come back another time. -What other time? 422 00:21:26,485 --> 00:21:27,952 -Whenever. -Where you going? 423 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,850 -We'll drive around for a while. -You don't have a car. 424 00:21:31,023 --> 00:21:33,014 -We'll take a bus. -Come on. Stop. 425 00:21:33,191 --> 00:21:34,783 -No, we don't mind. -l'll get a book. 426 00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:37,326 No, it's okay. l was just leaving anyway. 427 00:21:37,496 --> 00:21:39,589 Are you sure? Because we don't wanna-- 428 00:21:39,765 --> 00:21:41,130 No, it's okay. 429 00:21:41,300 --> 00:21:43,734 -We'll go see Schindler's List, right? -Definitely. 430 00:21:43,935 --> 00:21:45,300 Okay. 431 00:21:46,038 --> 00:21:48,006 -lt was nice meeting you. -Nice meeting you. 432 00:21:48,173 --> 00:21:49,800 -See you later. -Bye-bye. 433 00:21:51,043 --> 00:21:52,908 Boy, that was some show. 434 00:21:53,111 --> 00:21:55,272 -What show? -My Fair Lady. 435 00:21:55,480 --> 00:21:59,280 -When did you get tickets to see that? -Aaron surprised us, and Elaine came. 436 00:21:59,451 --> 00:22:01,385 Oh, Elaine? Really? 437 00:22:01,553 --> 00:22:03,646 Well, that sounds interesting. 438 00:22:03,822 --> 00:22:06,689 We saw Regis Philbin get out of a limousine. 439 00:22:06,925 --> 00:22:08,688 He looks better on TV. 440 00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:14,832 -Hello. -Hello, Jerry. 441 00:22:15,000 --> 00:22:17,195 -Yeah? -lt's Jack Klompus. 442 00:22:17,369 --> 00:22:18,996 Oh, hi, Jack. 443 00:22:19,371 --> 00:22:21,839 So when are you coming down to Florida again? 444 00:22:22,007 --> 00:22:25,033 As soon as is humanly possible. 445 00:22:25,243 --> 00:22:29,339 You know, l still got that pen, the one that writes upside down. 446 00:22:29,514 --> 00:22:32,574 Yeah. l should have kept it. 447 00:22:32,784 --> 00:22:35,719 -So where's your father? -Oh, he's right here. 448 00:22:36,922 --> 00:22:38,719 -Yeah? -Hello, Morty. 449 00:22:39,224 --> 00:22:42,387 Listen, l can't get in the garage. 450 00:22:42,561 --> 00:22:44,620 -What do you mean? -There is something... 451 00:22:44,796 --> 00:22:47,094 ...wrong with the key. The key doesn't work. 452 00:22:47,265 --> 00:22:49,825 -You gotta jiggle it a little bit. -l jiggled it. 453 00:22:50,001 --> 00:22:52,162 l jiggled it for 1 5 minutes. 454 00:22:52,337 --> 00:22:54,828 Tell him to come down here and get his own packages. 455 00:22:55,040 --> 00:22:57,600 You have nothing better to do than worry about his boxes? 456 00:22:57,776 --> 00:22:59,641 You gotta pull on the knob as you turn it. 457 00:22:59,811 --> 00:23:01,540 Get the hell out of here with your knob! 458 00:23:01,713 --> 00:23:03,112 What does he want from you? 459 00:23:03,281 --> 00:23:05,374 My idiot son could open that garage door. 460 00:23:05,717 --> 00:23:07,412 What did l do? 461 00:23:07,586 --> 00:23:10,020 Just do it first thing tomorrow. l need it. 462 00:23:11,723 --> 00:23:13,748 They'll be here first thing Thursday morning. 463 00:23:13,925 --> 00:23:16,792 Thursday morning? You know we're leaving at 3:00. 464 00:23:16,962 --> 00:23:19,055 Yeah, you're leaving at 3:00. 465 00:23:19,231 --> 00:23:21,597 -How will you get this done? -Don't worry about it. 466 00:23:21,767 --> 00:23:24,201 Yeah, how you gonna get all this done in time? 467 00:23:24,503 --> 00:23:27,404 They were drinking champagne in a buggy! 468 00:23:27,572 --> 00:23:30,132 -First Kramer, then Elaine? -Yeah. 469 00:23:30,375 --> 00:23:33,902 -lt's a slap in the face. -What did we ever do to them? 470 00:23:34,079 --> 00:23:36,980 l wanna know what we did to them. 471 00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,640 What are they, too good for us? A raincoat salesman. 472 00:23:39,818 --> 00:23:42,946 -l could buy and sell him, like that. -The hell with them! 473 00:23:43,121 --> 00:23:46,613 The thing that bothers me the most is the lying. 474 00:23:47,592 --> 00:23:49,025 Well, let's forget about it. 475 00:23:49,194 --> 00:23:51,856 We're going on a beautiful vacation. 476 00:23:52,130 --> 00:23:53,427 Vacation? 477 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:56,590 Your mother and l are planning on taking a cruise. 478 00:23:58,270 --> 00:24:00,761 But l can't find any of my vacation clothes. 479 00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:02,372 They were in the attic. 480 00:24:03,141 --> 00:24:04,472 The attic? 481 00:24:04,709 --> 00:24:07,075 You haven't worn any of those clothes for years. 482 00:24:07,312 --> 00:24:10,213 How can l go on a cruise without my cabana-wear? 483 00:24:10,382 --> 00:24:12,350 l love those clothes. 484 00:24:12,517 --> 00:24:14,382 A mouse! l saw a mouse! 485 00:24:15,921 --> 00:24:17,354 lt's the remote. 486 00:24:20,425 --> 00:24:23,656 Where the hell are my clothes? l love those clothes. 487 00:24:24,496 --> 00:24:26,396 Lousy, moth-ridden crap. 488 00:24:29,468 --> 00:24:33,768 l'm not crazy about used clothes. l mean, they call it vintage... 489 00:24:33,939 --> 00:24:37,534 ...you know, to take your mind off what it really is, nasty-wear. 490 00:24:37,943 --> 00:24:40,912 Oh, it's clean, you know. People wear underwear. 491 00:24:41,079 --> 00:24:43,240 Yeah, well, they don't wear iron underwear. 492 00:24:43,415 --> 00:24:46,316 And that's what it's gonna take to get me in those clothes. 493 00:24:46,952 --> 00:24:49,716 l'll move into an apartment after a strange person moves out. 494 00:24:49,888 --> 00:24:52,584 Why would l wanna move into somebody's pants? 495 00:24:53,825 --> 00:24:56,453 There is no vintage underwear, of course. 496 00:24:56,661 --> 00:24:59,186 But it's not because a guy couldn't sell his underwear. 497 00:24:59,364 --> 00:25:01,195 lt's because men wear their underwear... 498 00:25:01,366 --> 00:25:03,994 ...until it absolutely disintegrates. 499 00:25:04,236 --> 00:25:08,332 Men hang onto underwear until each individual... 500 00:25:08,507 --> 00:25:10,805 ...underwear molecule is so strained... 501 00:25:10,976 --> 00:25:13,467 ...it can barely retain the properties of a solid. 502 00:25:13,678 --> 00:25:16,738 lt actually becomes underwear vapor. 503 00:25:16,948 --> 00:25:19,416 We don't even throw it out. We just open a window... 504 00:25:19,584 --> 00:25:21,677 ...and it goes out like dandelion spores. 505 00:25:21,887 --> 00:25:24,720 That's how men throw out underwear. We go-- Then it's gone. 506 00:25:24,890 --> 00:25:26,653 That's it. lt's just.... 507 00:25:59,457 --> 00:26:02,893 -Hey, Jerry. -So how was the movie? 508 00:26:03,094 --> 00:26:06,757 Oh, really good. Really good. 509 00:26:07,065 --> 00:26:10,296 -Didn't three hours go by like that? -Like that. 510 00:26:10,468 --> 00:26:12,766 What about the end, with the list? 511 00:26:13,338 --> 00:26:15,568 Yeah, that was some list. 512 00:26:16,308 --> 00:26:18,105 What'd you think of the black and white? 513 00:26:18,843 --> 00:26:20,333 The black and white? 514 00:26:20,679 --> 00:26:22,704 The whole movie was in black and white. 515 00:26:22,881 --> 00:26:25,907 Oh, yeah, l didn't even realize. 516 00:26:26,217 --> 00:26:28,685 You don't think about it. There's so much going on. 517 00:26:28,853 --> 00:26:32,789 Yeah. Yeah. l tell you, l could see it again. 518 00:26:35,860 --> 00:26:38,658 So Klompus has the key, but the jerk couldn't open it up. 519 00:26:38,830 --> 00:26:43,324 All you gotta do is jiggle it. You just get it in there, jiggle it, jiggle it. 520 00:26:43,501 --> 00:26:46,197 Look, l find this whole thing very uninteresting. 521 00:26:46,371 --> 00:26:50,068 -When you get the coats, come in. -Oh, yeah. Hey, l'm on your side. 522 00:26:50,241 --> 00:26:51,708 Hey. What, again? 523 00:26:51,876 --> 00:26:54,071 l'm trying to buy some of the clothes back. 524 00:26:54,245 --> 00:26:56,179 Hey, wanna come over for dinner tonight? 525 00:26:56,348 --> 00:26:58,111 My mother made all this extra paella. 526 00:26:58,283 --> 00:26:59,978 Paella? Yeah, l'll be there. 527 00:27:00,652 --> 00:27:03,985 Apparently, the Seinfelds are too good for us. 528 00:27:04,222 --> 00:27:06,622 l shouldn't say anything bad about your partner. 529 00:27:06,791 --> 00:27:09,726 No, no. We're not really partners. l only get 25 percent. 530 00:27:09,995 --> 00:27:12,793 Twenty-five percent? lt was your idea. 531 00:27:12,964 --> 00:27:15,797 -Yeah, l know. -You're doing all the legwork. 532 00:27:15,967 --> 00:27:17,958 -That's right. -He's ripping you off. 533 00:27:18,136 --> 00:27:21,537 -You're right. He's ripping me off. -You should be getting more. 534 00:27:21,706 --> 00:27:24,971 -He's ripping me off. -Don't let him take advantage of you. 535 00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:30,047 Oh, it's you. 536 00:27:30,215 --> 00:27:32,740 You're the one who sold me the moth-ridden cabana crap. 537 00:27:35,954 --> 00:27:37,922 You know, l've been thinking... 538 00:27:38,089 --> 00:27:40,216 ...why is Kramer getting 25 percent? 539 00:27:40,392 --> 00:27:42,053 Well, he told you about the place. 540 00:27:42,227 --> 00:27:44,058 So what? Why is that worth 25 percent? 541 00:27:44,229 --> 00:27:46,925 lt's a finder's fee. You know what a finder's fee is? 542 00:27:47,098 --> 00:27:49,066 You find something, you get a fee. 543 00:27:49,234 --> 00:27:51,361 A finder's fee is 1 0 percent, no more. 544 00:27:51,536 --> 00:27:53,060 Well, it's too late now. 545 00:27:53,438 --> 00:27:56,430 Those are my coats. l saved them, l stored them. 546 00:27:56,608 --> 00:27:58,337 l've been waiting years for this payoff. 547 00:27:58,510 --> 00:28:00,910 Well, you're not gonna say anything. 548 00:28:01,079 --> 00:28:02,603 Hey. 549 00:28:03,682 --> 00:28:06,116 -l've been thinking about something. -Yeah, so have l-- 550 00:28:06,284 --> 00:28:08,946 -l don't think the deal is fair. -You don't think it's fair? 551 00:28:09,120 --> 00:28:11,748 No, no. l found the place. l set the whole thing up. 552 00:28:11,923 --> 00:28:14,118 -l'm doing all the legwork. -What legwork? 553 00:28:14,292 --> 00:28:16,988 -There's legwork. -lf anything, you're getting too much. 554 00:28:17,162 --> 00:28:19,357 -Too much? -That's right. They're my coats. 555 00:28:19,531 --> 00:28:20,896 Okay, look, l want 35 percent. 556 00:28:21,066 --> 00:28:22,533 l'm thinking more like 1 5. 557 00:28:22,734 --> 00:28:26,135 -No way l'm taking 1 5. -Well, you're not getting 35! 558 00:28:26,304 --> 00:28:28,135 All right, let's compromise. 559 00:28:28,406 --> 00:28:31,534 -Twenty-five percent. -Okay, it's a deal. 560 00:28:33,378 --> 00:28:36,711 Moths are the scourge of my business. All it takes is one moth to lay eggs. 561 00:28:36,881 --> 00:28:39,475 Know what happens to the larvae? They hatch everywhere. 562 00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:41,050 Well, l'm sorry. 563 00:28:41,219 --> 00:28:43,619 Here's your money back. And l'll take the clothes. 564 00:28:43,788 --> 00:28:46,450 This will hardly put a dent in my fumigation bill. 565 00:28:46,658 --> 00:28:49,889 -So where are the clothes? -l burned them. 566 00:28:51,563 --> 00:28:52,996 That's good. 567 00:28:54,899 --> 00:28:56,890 Now, l know they're your parents, Jerry... 568 00:28:57,068 --> 00:28:58,660 ...and they're very nice people. 569 00:28:59,237 --> 00:29:00,966 But don't you think it's odd... 570 00:29:01,139 --> 00:29:04,973 ...that a 35-year-old man is going to these lengths... 571 00:29:05,143 --> 00:29:08,010 ...to see that someone else's parents are enjoying themselves? 572 00:29:08,179 --> 00:29:10,511 l mean, don't you find that abnormal? 573 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:13,377 lt is a tad askew. 574 00:29:14,586 --> 00:29:17,054 l mean, they're your parents, and you don't do anything. 575 00:29:17,222 --> 00:29:18,519 Why's this stranger doing it? 576 00:29:18,690 --> 00:29:20,157 l've hardly been out with them. 577 00:29:20,325 --> 00:29:22,623 See? See? And l can't even say anything... 578 00:29:22,794 --> 00:29:25,456 ...you know, because all he's really doing is being nice... 579 00:29:25,630 --> 00:29:28,258 ...but nobody's this nice. This is, like... 580 00:29:28,466 --> 00:29:32,027 -...certifiably nice. -You're right. He's insane. 581 00:29:32,203 --> 00:29:35,263 Yes, he's insane. That's what l think. 582 00:29:35,707 --> 00:29:37,538 -So, what are you gonna do? -l don't know. 583 00:29:37,709 --> 00:29:39,438 l don't know what to do. 584 00:29:39,744 --> 00:29:42,474 Oh, God. So how was the movie? 585 00:29:42,647 --> 00:29:45,707 From what l saw, it was pretty good. 586 00:29:45,917 --> 00:29:47,578 What do you mean, ''from what you saw''? 587 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:51,381 Well, l didn't actually get to see the whole movie. 588 00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,047 Yeah, why not? 589 00:29:54,425 --> 00:29:58,953 l was kind of making out. 590 00:30:01,833 --> 00:30:05,269 You were making out during Schindler's List? 591 00:30:05,436 --> 00:30:06,869 l couldn't help it. 592 00:30:07,071 --> 00:30:09,904 We hadn't been alone in a long time. lt got the better of me. 593 00:30:10,074 --> 00:30:13,373 -During Schindler's List? -We're both living with our parents. 594 00:30:13,545 --> 00:30:15,240 Did anybody see you or say anything? 595 00:30:15,413 --> 00:30:18,439 Oh, l don't think so. l saw Newman, but he didn't see me. 596 00:30:27,225 --> 00:30:29,420 Hello, Mrs. Seinfeld. 597 00:30:29,961 --> 00:30:32,657 Hello, Newman. 598 00:30:34,599 --> 00:30:36,032 Jerry's not here. 599 00:30:37,735 --> 00:30:39,760 Having a nice trip? 600 00:30:40,371 --> 00:30:43,272 Wonderful. We went to the theater last night. 601 00:30:43,441 --> 00:30:45,170 Oh, the theater. 602 00:30:45,376 --> 00:30:48,106 -Because l was wondering-- -Wondering what? 603 00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:50,679 Why l didn't see you at Schindler's List with Jerry. 604 00:30:50,849 --> 00:30:52,077 Well, we already saw it. 605 00:30:52,250 --> 00:30:55,845 Oh, well, it's a good thing for Jerry that you didn't go. 606 00:30:56,154 --> 00:30:59,180 -Why is that? -Well, he really seemed to have... 607 00:30:59,357 --> 00:31:01,518 ...his hands full, if you know what l mean? 608 00:31:01,726 --> 00:31:03,193 l'm afraid l don't. 609 00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:05,295 Him and his buxom little friend, Rachel... 610 00:31:05,463 --> 00:31:07,556 ...were going at it pretty good in the balcony. 611 00:31:07,732 --> 00:31:09,723 -What? -Do l have to spell it out for you? 612 00:31:09,901 --> 00:31:13,530 He was moving on her like the stormtroopers into Poland. 613 00:31:14,038 --> 00:31:16,700 Jerry was necking during Schindler's List? 614 00:31:16,875 --> 00:31:18,103 Yes. 615 00:31:18,276 --> 00:31:21,575 And a more offensive spectacle l cannot recall. 616 00:31:22,213 --> 00:31:25,341 Anyway, l just really came up to get some detergent. 617 00:31:25,516 --> 00:31:28,417 -Jerry sends his laundry out. -Oh, right. 618 00:31:28,586 --> 00:31:31,987 Well, it was nice seeing you folks. Oh, by the way... 619 00:31:32,156 --> 00:31:35,421 ...you didn't hear this from me. Ta-ta. 620 00:31:41,366 --> 00:31:42,765 Hi. 621 00:31:50,241 --> 00:31:53,404 -What? What did l do? -How could you? 622 00:31:53,578 --> 00:31:55,842 -How could l what? -You were making out... 623 00:31:56,014 --> 00:31:57,845 ...during Schindler's List? 624 00:31:58,216 --> 00:31:59,547 What? 625 00:31:59,717 --> 00:32:02,151 -No. -Don't lie, Jerry. 626 00:32:03,454 --> 00:32:04,978 Newman. 627 00:32:06,991 --> 00:32:10,324 -How could you do such a thing? -l couldn't help it. 628 00:32:10,495 --> 00:32:13,123 We hadn't been alone together in a long time. 629 00:32:13,298 --> 00:32:15,732 We started up a little during the coming attractions... 630 00:32:15,900 --> 00:32:19,131 ...and the next thing we knew the war was over. 631 00:32:23,975 --> 00:32:26,000 -Hello. -Jerry. 632 00:32:26,311 --> 00:32:29,144 -lt's Jack Klompus. -Hang on a second. 633 00:32:29,347 --> 00:32:31,406 Dad, it's Klompus. 634 00:32:31,616 --> 00:32:33,516 -Hello. -Hello, Morty? 635 00:32:33,818 --> 00:32:36,787 Listen. That key doesn't work. 636 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:39,549 -lt's no good. -You didn't get in? 637 00:32:39,724 --> 00:32:43,091 Oh, l got in. l had to break the window with a rock. 638 00:32:43,261 --> 00:32:46,526 And then l got my hand all cut up reaching in. 639 00:32:46,731 --> 00:32:49,894 -You broke the window? -He broke the window? 640 00:32:50,068 --> 00:32:52,127 You wanted those damn boxes, didn't you? 641 00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:55,534 He should be on his hands and knees thanking you. 642 00:32:55,707 --> 00:32:57,174 -Did you send them? -Yeah. 643 00:32:57,342 --> 00:33:00,539 They'll be there tomorrow afternoon, 2:00. 644 00:33:00,712 --> 00:33:02,236 Tomorrow afternoon? 645 00:33:02,413 --> 00:33:04,813 -Tomorrow afternoon? -Tomorrow afternoon? 646 00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:06,814 l told you to send them express. 647 00:33:06,985 --> 00:33:10,386 lt was $ 1 0 cheaper in the afternoon than the morning. 648 00:33:10,555 --> 00:33:12,386 l figured, what the hell's the difference? 649 00:33:12,557 --> 00:33:16,049 -What did you do about the window? -l gotta fix your window now? 650 00:33:16,227 --> 00:33:17,922 All right, all right. Goodbye. 651 00:33:19,731 --> 00:33:21,392 l don't think we'll make that flight. 652 00:33:21,566 --> 00:33:23,261 What do you mean you won't make it? 653 00:33:23,434 --> 00:33:25,868 We have to make the flight. We're with a charter group. 654 00:33:26,037 --> 00:33:27,334 lf we don't, the trip is off. 655 00:33:27,505 --> 00:33:29,700 What's the difference? We'll go someplace else. 656 00:33:29,874 --> 00:33:31,739 Someplace else? What about Paris? 657 00:33:31,909 --> 00:33:35,242 You don't understand. l've come this far. l can't stop now. 658 00:33:35,413 --> 00:33:39,213 l can't believe that you're doing all this just to sell some stupid raincoats. 659 00:33:39,384 --> 00:33:40,783 You don't understand. 660 00:33:40,952 --> 00:33:43,352 Fashion is cyclical. This thing could come back. 661 00:33:43,521 --> 00:33:45,182 l think you're out of your mind. 662 00:33:46,224 --> 00:33:51,093 l just don't understand how all those clothes can disappear. 663 00:33:51,262 --> 00:33:54,663 -Moths? -Moths ate three boxes? 664 00:33:54,832 --> 00:33:57,130 Well, you know what happens when larvae hatch. 665 00:33:57,301 --> 00:33:58,791 They're everywhere. 666 00:33:59,070 --> 00:34:01,800 You know, l was thinking today. 667 00:34:02,006 --> 00:34:04,668 l never liked those Seinfelds anyway. 668 00:34:04,842 --> 00:34:06,605 He's an idiot altogether. 669 00:34:07,645 --> 00:34:09,806 -Oh, there's Kramer. -Hello! 670 00:34:09,981 --> 00:34:11,710 Hello! 671 00:34:13,051 --> 00:34:14,416 Hey. 672 00:34:16,020 --> 00:34:18,955 -Good evening. -Hope you're hungry. 673 00:34:19,123 --> 00:34:20,351 Paella. 674 00:34:20,525 --> 00:34:22,993 -Here, let me take your coat. -Oh, yeah. Thanks, buddy. 675 00:34:23,561 --> 00:34:25,426 -Hey. -That shirt. 676 00:34:25,596 --> 00:34:27,257 -Where did you get that shirt? -What? 677 00:34:27,432 --> 00:34:28,797 That's my cabana shirt. 678 00:34:28,966 --> 00:34:30,957 You stole my shirt, you son of a bitch! 679 00:34:31,135 --> 00:34:33,899 George, your friends up in the attic, stealing my clothes! 680 00:34:34,072 --> 00:34:36,836 Give me that back. Give me that. Give me. 681 00:34:38,443 --> 00:34:39,967 l bought it from Rudy. 682 00:34:40,144 --> 00:34:42,442 Rudy! That skunk! 683 00:34:42,613 --> 00:34:45,047 -l knew he didn't burn those clothes! -Who's Rudy? 684 00:34:45,216 --> 00:34:47,514 -What clothes? -l sold your clothes yesterday. 685 00:34:47,685 --> 00:34:48,913 You sold my clothes? 686 00:34:49,087 --> 00:34:51,214 What do you mean, you sold my clothes? 687 00:34:51,389 --> 00:34:55,086 -l didn't think you wore them anymore. -lt's cruise-wear! 688 00:34:55,827 --> 00:34:57,192 Kramer. 689 00:34:57,428 --> 00:34:59,623 -l love that shirt. -Oh, yeah. 690 00:34:59,797 --> 00:35:01,662 That's because it's mine! 691 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:03,824 You look just like Frank... 692 00:35:04,035 --> 00:35:06,401 ...on our honeymoon. 693 00:35:06,604 --> 00:35:08,333 Well, thank you. 694 00:35:08,506 --> 00:35:10,235 -Who's this Rudy? -Rudy's the guy... 695 00:35:10,408 --> 00:35:11,773 ...buying Morty's raincoats. 696 00:35:11,943 --> 00:35:13,808 Morty Seinfeld? He's a bum. 697 00:35:13,978 --> 00:35:16,378 The whole deal's going down tomorrow. 698 00:35:16,547 --> 00:35:19,175 -Morty's gonna miss his plane for it. -Missing his plane? 699 00:35:19,350 --> 00:35:21,477 -Wasn't that a charter flight? -Yeah. 700 00:35:21,652 --> 00:35:24,485 What happens to charter tickets when you don't use them? 701 00:35:24,655 --> 00:35:26,486 Well, l suppose they're wasted. 702 00:35:26,691 --> 00:35:28,818 Yes, l suppose they are. 703 00:35:29,026 --> 00:35:31,927 Tomorrow l'm going straight down to this Rudy and get my clothes. 704 00:35:32,096 --> 00:35:33,723 -A mouse! -Egad! A mouse! 705 00:35:33,898 --> 00:35:36,162 ln the bedroom! 706 00:35:47,178 --> 00:35:48,941 -You want the tickets? -Yes. 707 00:35:49,113 --> 00:35:51,081 You're gonna take this kid to Paris? 708 00:35:51,249 --> 00:35:54,616 l get a free trip to Paris. l go in the Big Brothers' Hall of Fame. 709 00:35:54,785 --> 00:35:56,013 l mail my own postcards. 710 00:35:56,187 --> 00:36:00,317 -You know l'm paying for these tickets. -lt's all right. l got lunch. 711 00:36:04,428 --> 00:36:07,158 You should've gone to the Costanzas' for dinner. 712 00:36:07,632 --> 00:36:09,497 The paella was magnificent. 713 00:36:09,734 --> 00:36:12,362 Have you ever had really good paella? 714 00:36:12,537 --> 00:36:15,370 -Not really. -lt's an orgiastic feast for the senses... 715 00:36:15,540 --> 00:36:19,408 ...a wanton festival of sights, sounds and colors and.... 716 00:36:21,546 --> 00:36:23,446 Dad, you sure we're at the right carousel? 717 00:36:23,614 --> 00:36:25,605 -This is it. -So how much are we gonna make? 718 00:36:25,783 --> 00:36:28,616 Take it easy. l've been through a million of these negotiations. 719 00:36:28,786 --> 00:36:30,083 Two thousand? Three thousand? 720 00:36:30,254 --> 00:36:32,552 That's giving it away. This is a one-of-a-kind item. 721 00:36:32,723 --> 00:36:36,181 -More? More than 3000? -Just watch me do my thing. 722 00:36:37,261 --> 00:36:40,355 -Say, Dad, isn't that one of yours? -Look at this. 723 00:36:40,565 --> 00:36:42,192 Look how this idiot packed it. 724 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:44,391 He didn't tape it. He just flipped the flaps. 725 00:36:44,569 --> 00:36:46,196 Wait. Hold it. 726 00:36:47,138 --> 00:36:48,537 Kramer, you missed a couple. 727 00:36:48,706 --> 00:36:52,039 Bonjour, welcome to the Gateway to Paris charter flight. 728 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:53,802 Dad, isn't that your charter group? 729 00:36:54,645 --> 00:36:56,738 Honesty. Hard work. 730 00:36:57,014 --> 00:36:59,380 These are the values that l was raised with. 731 00:36:59,584 --> 00:37:01,074 The most important thing, Joey... 732 00:37:01,252 --> 00:37:04,153 ...is to be able to look yourself in the mirror before you sleep. 733 00:37:04,322 --> 00:37:06,153 Hey, l got news for you, four-eyes... 734 00:37:06,324 --> 00:37:09,157 ...there's no way you're staying with us in Paris. 735 00:37:14,198 --> 00:37:16,758 You burned them? Those clothes are not yours to burn. 736 00:37:16,934 --> 00:37:18,629 -Who are you, anyways? -l'm the father. 737 00:37:18,803 --> 00:37:21,397 -He said his father was dead. -He said l was dead? 738 00:37:21,572 --> 00:37:24,564 That's right. Squeezed an extra $25 out of me. 739 00:37:24,875 --> 00:37:27,309 That's what my life is worth to him, $25? 740 00:37:27,478 --> 00:37:29,571 -Hey, Frank! -Oh, hey. 741 00:37:29,747 --> 00:37:32,648 l want you to know that l'm retracting our dinner invitation. 742 00:37:32,817 --> 00:37:34,751 You don't have to retract it. We never went. 743 00:37:34,919 --> 00:37:37,149 l'm retracting that it was ever offered. 744 00:37:37,321 --> 00:37:39,084 l retract your retraction. 745 00:37:39,257 --> 00:37:41,555 What are you, trying to unload some junk of yours? 746 00:37:41,726 --> 00:37:44,320 Will you excuse me, please? We're conducting business here. 747 00:37:44,595 --> 00:37:45,960 Keep them. l'm not interested. 748 00:37:46,130 --> 00:37:48,860 -l thought we had a deal? -That's another one of my shirts! 749 00:37:49,033 --> 00:37:51,160 Not buying any more clothes from anyone off the street. 750 00:37:51,335 --> 00:37:53,633 The street? l'm in the raincoat business 35 years. 751 00:37:53,804 --> 00:37:57,240 -Maybe they have moths, like his stuff. -My clothes don't have moths! 752 00:37:57,408 --> 00:37:59,968 Because of his moths, you're not buying my raincoats? 753 00:38:00,144 --> 00:38:03,602 -That's right. -l'm all ticklish. 754 00:38:08,219 --> 00:38:12,679 Flight 433 now boarding for Miami at gate 1 8-A. 755 00:38:12,857 --> 00:38:16,520 -Flight 433 now boarding. -Okay. Let's go. 756 00:38:16,761 --> 00:38:19,662 lt was so nice of you to come to the airport to see us off. 757 00:38:19,930 --> 00:38:21,898 Are you sure you can't stay a little longer? 758 00:38:22,066 --> 00:38:23,829 -No! -No! 759 00:38:24,001 --> 00:38:25,229 -Goodbye. -Bye-bye. 760 00:38:25,403 --> 00:38:26,893 -Take care. -Okay, Jer. 761 00:38:27,071 --> 00:38:29,164 -Bye-bye, Elaine. -Bye-bye. 762 00:38:30,975 --> 00:38:33,068 We'll call you when we get home. 763 00:38:33,644 --> 00:38:34,941 Thank you. 764 00:38:35,112 --> 00:38:36,704 l think she meant me, but.... 765 00:38:37,114 --> 00:38:39,912 Make sure Kramer uses good tape to send back the raincoats. 766 00:38:40,084 --> 00:38:41,915 -Okay. -Bye. 767 00:38:42,086 --> 00:38:44,418 -Bye. -Aaron? 768 00:38:45,089 --> 00:38:46,488 Aaron, are you okay? 769 00:38:46,657 --> 00:38:48,284 l could've done more. 770 00:38:48,492 --> 00:38:50,323 l could've done so much more. 771 00:38:51,128 --> 00:38:53,596 -You did enough. -No. 772 00:38:53,798 --> 00:38:55,629 l could've called the travel agency... 773 00:38:55,800 --> 00:38:57,631 ...got them on another flight to Paris. 774 00:38:57,802 --> 00:38:59,997 -l could've got them out! -You tried, Aaron. 775 00:39:00,171 --> 00:39:03,038 -lt was too expensive. -This watch. 776 00:39:03,808 --> 00:39:06,436 This watch could've paid for their whole trip. 777 00:39:06,644 --> 00:39:08,407 This ring. 778 00:39:08,646 --> 00:39:12,173 This ring is one more dinner l could've taken them out to. 779 00:39:13,617 --> 00:39:15,107 Water. 780 00:39:15,353 --> 00:39:17,583 -They need some water. -Why? 781 00:39:17,822 --> 00:39:19,619 They'll get dehydrated on the plane! 782 00:39:19,790 --> 00:39:21,087 Get the Seinfelds some water! 783 00:39:21,492 --> 00:39:22,823 Please! 784 00:39:23,094 --> 00:39:24,652 Please! 785 00:39:32,570 --> 00:39:34,299 Hi, Mr. Goldstein. ls Rachel home? 786 00:39:34,472 --> 00:39:36,872 l'm afraid Rachel is not going to see you tonight... 787 00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:38,736 ...or any other night for that matter. 788 00:39:38,909 --> 00:39:40,809 -Why? What did l do? -You know very well. 789 00:39:40,978 --> 00:39:43,606 l heard about your behavior at the movies the other night. 790 00:39:43,781 --> 00:39:46,306 lt was disgraceful. You ought to be ashamed of yourself. 791 00:39:46,550 --> 00:39:48,814 l will not allow my daughter to be involved... 792 00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:51,511 ...with someone of such weak moral fiber. 793 00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:54,816 Fortunately, my postman happened to witness the entire incident. 794 00:39:54,992 --> 00:39:57,460 A heavyset fellow. l believe he lives in your building. 795 00:39:57,628 --> 00:39:59,823 -Now, if you don't mind.... -Rachel. 796 00:40:00,064 --> 00:40:01,588 -Rachel. -Good night. 797 00:40:03,300 --> 00:40:05,495 So my parents get home, they open the door... 798 00:40:05,669 --> 00:40:08,832 ...my father flicks the light on, and the whole place is cleaned out. 799 00:40:09,006 --> 00:40:11,065 -Everything. -Get out. 800 00:40:11,275 --> 00:40:13,300 -How did that happen? -The broken window. 801 00:40:13,477 --> 00:40:16,241 Klompus never fixed it. They just walked right in. 802 00:40:16,447 --> 00:40:18,506 Boy, they could use a vacation. 803 00:40:18,682 --> 00:40:22,277 They're taking one. The travel agent's trying to set something up for them. 804 00:40:22,453 --> 00:40:23,750 So how about that Aaron? 805 00:40:24,922 --> 00:40:26,685 You know what drove me crazy about him? 806 00:40:26,857 --> 00:40:30,020 Did you ever notice he stood too close to you when he talked? 807 00:40:30,428 --> 00:40:32,293 No, l hadn't noticed. 808 00:40:34,365 --> 00:40:36,060 Pair of bear claws, please. 809 00:40:38,269 --> 00:40:41,602 -Hi, Newman. -Hello, Jerry. 810 00:40:41,772 --> 00:40:45,208 l happened to catch you coming out of Schindler's List the other night. 811 00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,367 Oh, were you there? 812 00:40:47,645 --> 00:40:49,510 Yes, l was. 813 00:40:49,747 --> 00:40:52,147 -lt's a powerful film. -Yeah. 814 00:40:52,316 --> 00:40:54,944 -Shocking brutality, don't you think? -Shocking. 815 00:40:55,119 --> 00:40:57,781 -Yeah, well, that was nothing. -Jerry! Jerry! 816 00:41:01,525 --> 00:41:03,220 Where the hell is your father? 817 00:41:09,934 --> 00:41:11,868 This is the best thing we ever did. 818 00:41:12,036 --> 00:41:14,300 l hope those exterminators know what they're doing. 819 00:41:14,472 --> 00:41:17,873 Forget about them. Let's just try and relax. 820 00:41:18,476 --> 00:41:20,535 Personal distance is a very important thing. 821 00:41:20,711 --> 00:41:22,906 There's a new personal distance, ATM distance. 822 00:41:23,080 --> 00:41:26,607 When someone's using an ATM, you wanna be about 6 feet back. 823 00:41:26,784 --> 00:41:29,719 Don't you? Because people get edgy around that ATM, don't they? 824 00:41:29,887 --> 00:41:33,084 They got their money out, their eyes are darting all around. 825 00:41:33,290 --> 00:41:36,418 The other place l wanna be 6 feet away is a urinal. 826 00:41:36,627 --> 00:41:38,686 You want some distance there too. 827 00:41:38,896 --> 00:41:41,729 ATMs and urinals. l guess whenever someone's taking valuables... 828 00:41:41,899 --> 00:41:45,232 ...out of their pants, you wanna give them as much room as possible.